Respect and Ownership - A two topic post

When I write my blog posts, I have usually churned over a topic for a few days or even weeks. Then the urge hits me and I start to write. When I write them, I proof read but often go with my initial gut (after all of that churning, that is) thoughts. I do that to try and prevent a posting based on raw emotion, and sometimes I'm not very successful.

The first topic is on 'Respect'.

respect |riˈspekt|- noun • due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others : respect for human rights.
- verb [ trans. ] • have due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of : I respected his views.

This one starting percolating a few weeks ago when I started seeing e-mails and posts on Facebook about keeping Christ in Christmas. How dare people reduce Christmas by wishing someone or a group of someone's Happy Holidays. I hadn't realized that Christ was removed from Christmas? I certainly have never heard anyone wish me a Merry Mas. Folks, Christ is still there. 

The second thing that really kicked this topic into gear are all of the posts over the past 2 days in response to the horrible shooting in Connecticut. Some are specifically saying that we need to let God back into our schools. Again, I didn't realize he abandoned our children the moment they walked through those doors (do they coat the doors, walls, floors and ceilings with unholy water?). I'm pretty sure He is all powerful and can (and will) go wherever He is needed (or wherever He'd like). Yes organized, formal prayer is no longer a part of the school day. Do you really want a school teacher doing that? What if that teacher was Jewish? Or Muslim? There are many different divisions of Christianity - so what if that teacher attended a church where they spoke in tongue or held snakes when they prayed? Is that how you want your child to learn about God? When does it become the parents responsibility to teach their kids? (Oh wait, that's part of the second topic...)

About 13 years ago I was promoted to a management position with the company I work for. My boss at the time, Jodie M., was in charge of quality, training and all of the miscellaneous areas of the operation at our site. Our company is big on diversity, and she was in charge of being the diversity champion for our office. Under her tutelage I learned a lot of valuable lessons that I carry with me today. I am certainly a better person today because of her. One of those values is the respect for our vast cultural differences within our country (and even outside of it). I learned that just because I have a way of looking at something doesn't mean there isn't a different, valid, view point that someone else sees in the exact same situation. I certainly don't have to use those other views, but by acknowledging them and at times incorporating them I am recognizing our differences and showing my respect towards others.

So, when I wish you a Happy Holiday, I do so with respect to your possible varying viewpoints. I don't know intimately what everyone thinks or believes (or rather doesn't believe) so why should I make the assumption that everyone is a Christian or celebrates Christmas (some Christian sects don't). When I don't force all of the children in a class room to say a Christian prayer I am respecting them, and just as importantly their parents in their own personal views on religion.

Ownership

owner |ˈōnər| - noun - a person who owns something : the proud owner of a huge Dalmatian.

This one goes to heart of one of great issues in our country. How often have you heard on the news after one of these tragic mass shootings people talking about the shooter. Many times that person says something like "he was always nice to me" or "he was always so quiet". The parents or relatives of the shooter will often say something like "my son/daughter would never do such a thing. I have no idea why they did it".

I feel this stems from a lack of ownership of these parents/relatives in the raising of their child. Every parent should be involved in their child's activities throughout the day. Get to know who their friends are, ask them how their day was. Learn how to have open dialogue with them so when it becomes necessary you can identify when something is wrong and work to help them out.

Parents also need to learn how to accept feedback from their peers, from the child's school or other areas of interaction. If a teacher comes to you and says they have been having behavioral problems with your child, don't just take your child's side and accuse the teacher of not doing their job - if anything they are going above and beyond to try and help that child through you. Take the information you learn about your child and dig to find any root causes to issues they are experiencing.

I also hear people talking about how today's social media, video games, TV shows and movies are contributing to the decline of our society and fueling these mass shootings. I feel as a parent, I am not here to be my child's best friend. I'm here to raise a responsible, respectful, contributing member of society. In my house, there is no expectation of privacy. I look at their texts, tweets and posts. I monitor their search history and I censor what they watch or play in my house.

There also seems to be a stigma on mental health. How embarrassing it is that the child has a problem. We don't talk about that in public, else someone thinks less of us. If you view mental health issues and drug/alcohol abuse as a personal failure in the way you raised your children - don't. The parent only becomes a failure when they don't take ownership for their child's behavior/issues and do everything within their power to help that child overcome whatever ails them. As a society we need to not look down upon those things. We need to embrace those issues and make assistance easily and readily available.

Back on that topic of prayer in school. Who, exactly do these people think should be teaching their children about God and religion? How do you know that these school administrators are going to teach it the way your pastor/preacher/elder/shaman/etc... does? Folks, some lessons need to come from the heart and the home. Not everything can be pushed off onto the teachers and principals to teach to our kids. Leave the textbook stuff to them. God isn't gone from our schools unless you don't teach them about Him.

Finally, I'd like to say I know I'm not perfect. I'm not the perfect parent. I don't have all of the answers. I'm sure I've done things that will require therapy for my children in later years. But I'm trying. Yep, I got preachy here. I'm stepping off of my soapbox. So many people have jumped to social media to express their thoughts on all that is wrong in the world today. I respect their views and opinions, and I hope that they take ownership of what is going on in their own little slice of life.